Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I don't wanna!


That has been my feeling towards any kind of training for the last couple weeks. It started just before my travel weekend to Star Crossed. I've been feeling low on motivation. Last weekend I had too convince myself to go race. Not the usual. I've come to realize that I'm not having fun out there anymore. I've become to serious and too worried about winning or getting results. So I'm making some changes. I'm going to start having more fun and worrying less about how well I do at the races. I'm not going to train seriously, I'm just going to ride and do the things that I enjoy doing.

I'm considering picking up climbing again, learning to surf, learning to snowboard, getting a downhill mtbike. Maybe finding some ballet classes, some parkour classes, or some martial arts classes. Maybe buy a guitar. Or maybe all of those. It's time to do the things I've always wanted to do but haven't made time for because I was focused on racing bikes.

I guess I sort of feel like I'm in a state of flux. Racing has been a central focus of my life for a long time, and now I'm moving it out of the spotlight. It leaves me with a lot of mixed emotions, but when I think about taking up all these other things that I've wanted to do for years, it feels like the right decision.

So, I'll probably still do a few mountain bike races, and probably a few crits, and of course, several cross races, but not the way I have been. I've got some ideas on which bikes I'd like to buy and I'm working out what order, then on to other stuff.

I guess I knew this day was coming, I just wasn't expecting it this year.

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